I don't think I can recall ever making a resolution for New Years. I find the whole thing silly but recently my mind changed. I guess my first ever resolution really came to me due to timing because I didn't think "Oh maybe I should have a resolution". No it was more over my reflection over this year. I feel like the general consensus is that the year 2017 was rough for a lot of us. I wouldn't call this year was all bad but it was certainly one of the hardest in my life.

So it has been a good while since I have written a post on my blog, well two years to be exact, and so much has happened between now and then.

My "fat pants" that I keep to give me a physical reminder of how far I have come.

My journey has continued down a strong and steady path and I am now at my lowest weight in three years which is currently 177 pounds. This year alone I have ran two 5k's; one for the Humane Society and another was a trail 5k race at Sugarloaf USA. I have also managed to really step up my lifting and managed to build muscle in places I had no idea I could really do. A major one being my upper body. If you would have asked me to "flex" my bicep you would have asked if there was anything there. Now I am able to see my biceps without even fully flexing my arms. Speaking of arms, on my birthday (Jan 20th) I got this beautiful pheonix tattoo at Touch of Grey (by Chris Flynn) to represent my rebirth in my journey. It took about 8 hours to do and was extremely painful but absolutely no regrets.



So what else has been going on since my last check in? I continue to work with my husband but not in Florida. Woa what? Welp, there were many factors that resulted in our return to Maine but the biggest was just the simple fact that we both missed home terribly. It only took less then six months to realize that Florida was just not a place for us and I felt that I truly belonged in Maine. It's amazing how it takes moving away from home to realize where you truly belong. I commend those who take the leap to move to a new environment because no matter the outcome, you end up learning so much about yourself. It might sound completely corny but I learned that I belong to Maine. I enjoy doing so many outside activities (hiking, swimming, biking, skiing, etc) but in Florida, you can't really do any of those things without the humidity killing you first. I definitely don't regret moving to Florida in the first place because I was able to have some fun experiences. I got to go to Epcot at Disney World for free thanks to an employee I worked with who's husband was a chef at Disney. I got to see The Blueman Group, which was on my bucket list and they were amazing. I got the chance to try some southern fast food places such as Steak and Shake, Chik-Fil-A, and Crispy Creme. The biggest downside to that was my journey was postponed until coming back to Maine due to the food and level inactivity.



So when we came back to Maine in June 2016, we took our previous job position back and have been rocking it ever since. Being back this time around has really changed my perspective on everything. Being a therapeutic parent poses it's own many challenges. Working with kiddos with developmental, behavioral, and/or mental health disabilities can be extremely tiring. Every day is unique and it is something you can never fully plan on day to day basis. Things will pop up and last minute changes are the norm but doing this job position for over four years total has given me a stronger sense of confidence. Coming back to the job was really just riding a bike and, call me crazy, but I am very happy to be back.

 There is so much to write about but I don't want to create it all under one blog post. It would be wayyy too long and in this day and age, people simply just don't have enough time. I fully plan on creating more consistent posts in the foreseeable future so stay tuned!

Until next time..

Progression from top left to bottom right from where I started to today.

The entire year of 2015 has been a theme of change. I began the month at my absolute heaviest. I escaped the stress of work by stuffing my face with packages of oreos and bags of chips. It was horrendous. By March I decided something had to change. I had no direction to go but life never really has a set path. You are given an opportunity and it is ultimately up to you to decide. Is this where my story will be? Am I willing to settle? All my life I have been asking myself, am I willing to settle because it's the easy way out? For a while that was what I did. Over the years I took charge of my life and now have the most amazing marriage and chose a career path I am proud of. So naturally I decided that my health needed to also change for the better.

My starting weight here was 237 pounds! eeek!

So in March I went to the gym almost every day and began clean eating. By the end of the summer I was able to cut down my carb content to nearly nothing. Just enough to have energy to burn, because that is what carbs are for. I was able to accomplish many things I never thought I had the capacity to do. I ran in TWO 5k's which my best time was 36 minutes. That was a huge accomplishment for me because running for a while was the bane of my existence. I wanted to make it a goal to do however because I knew I could. Other accomplishments was I was able to build muscle like I never thought was possible. I learned the basics of sports nutrition and medicine to be able to build muscle. If you know me, I never ever had any sort of muscle in my arms. To be honest, I was down right puny. I wanted to be able to prove to myself that it was something I could do, and I ended up finding my true passion in lifiting. I can do squats and dead lifts all day if I was given the chance (and until my legs give out). When I started lifting I could only squat with 45 pounds and now can squat up to 70 pounds. Also doing bench presses. I could only do 20 pounds and now can do up to 50 pounds. I still have a long way to go but having a goal has been the best way to push me harder. And so thanks to lifting, cardio, and proper eating I am able to be down a total of 50 pounds! 

Finishing my first 5k Color Run August 2015

Joe and I and an anonymous lady finishing the Rise and Shine 5k. My second 5k and Joe's first.

Recently I joined the Beachbody family as a coach to even further my health journey. I have always heard about the great benefits but was honestly didn't want to feel pressured into doing it. But I am super happy I signed up. For a while now I have been wanting to help others with their own health journey because I have been there. It's intimidating to have not a single clue where to start, and when you do start you wonder if you are doing it right. It took me at least six months to really start results and boy was I getting super impatient. What I really like about Beachbody is when coaches run various challenge groups (which I will running a clean eating one in Janurary so look out for that), you have access the on demand works (which I LOVE because when you can't make it to the gym you feel lost) and the shakeology products (which is so yummy and they really do make you feel full). Plus they have so many options for work out programs, There really is a program there for everyone. In early January, I will be fully focusing on my coaching with Beachbody so stay tuned!

Recently receiving my coach stuff, shakeology, and Body Beast workout program

This year has surprisingly been not only about my health journey but very recently Joe and I took on a completely new job opportunity which will land us in Florida. We accepted a house parent position at a Golf Academy which they include our housing, meals, insurance, gym, etc. I won't go into grave detail about the job but the two biggest reasons why we joined was the money we will be able to save and for less work then what we do now. Of course moving out of state is going to be hard. We have been super fortunate to have our friends and family understand our decision to move. We are honestly looking at this situation as an adventure vs settling. Recently we have been doing a lot of talk about what exactly we want to do with our careers. Is being a house parent something we want to do for a long time or go back to "normal" 40 hour weeks? I have been so fortunate to be able to work with my spouse and that is something I want to do as long as we both can. There are so many job opportunities out there for couples and it is honestly the best way to travel and see new places without having to pay for it. You actually get paid for it! But of course, depending on the job, you and your spouse will log in longer hours. You don't work 40 hour week's, it will more range from 80-100 hours a week. The profession is not for everyone but for those who enjoy it, then it will be perfect. We all deserve to be able in our job profession right?

http://calvinayre.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/florida-slots.jpg

After this year coming to an end, I am looking forward to what next year will bring. I will be able to have more time with this new job to REALLY focus on my health and physical fitness. I want to able to end the year of 2016 with the same satisfaction I feel now. I have a very good feeling that will be possible!

My current weight is 188 and going down!!

"Strength grows in the moments when you think you can't go on but you keep going anyway"

Things have been continuing to go very well with my health journey. This past week alone my husband, Joe, and I have been building up our very own home gym in the basement of our work house (considering we "live" here ten days at a time). We have been becoming increasingly productive with work and life which, at time, leaves us less time for the gym. Such as our weekends on, not even one of us can go to the gym when the kiddos are in bed because the gym closes at 7pm on weekends. Also winter is coming which will make it harder to go to the gym. We have been very fortunate enough to have family friends donate a nice weight lifting bench and a Boflex machine. We have also added our personal TV to play fitness videos (I LOVE the Les Mills On Demand service), our personal elliptical, dumbbells, yoga mat, our Gold's Gym Barbell with 100lbs weights. The home gym is already proving to be a major asset to our health journey. We have been talking about next adding a punching bag and some good floor mats to cover the concrete floor.

We call it "The Locker Room"

Every day I am finding it easier to live this healthy alternative lifestyle. I am not even thinking about snacking at night which has been my latest big success. I am also really starting to notice changes with my body. I can feel and see my pelvic bone which I forgot was there since two years ago. My arms are becoming more defined which is a first in ever. My stomach has even become smaller in size which has been my biggest insecurity when I gained all the weight. It has also been a major confidence boost to hear about how much I have lost from friends and family. I am so far deep into this journey I know 100% that there is NO turning back. My husband, Joe, has been my biggest help. He has adapted to this lifestyle so well that he is making sure that he gets his fitness in everyday as well as making healthy choices. When you have your partner to join you on your journey, it makes things a million times easier. We have been doing awesome at encouraging and pushing each other to do better and more. So far we have both lost a combined weight of 80 pounds, so it is defiantly working!
I know I promised to write about our hiking adventure on Mount Jefferson on Oct 10. Unfortunately we were not able to hike it because it ended up snowing on the summit. We were still able to hike on a mountain but this time it was Bubble Rock which is located in Acadia National Park. The mountain itself looks pretty cool which sits right beside Cadillac Mountain. Despite choosing a different mountain that only had .4 mile trail to the summit, it was at a steep incline up, so we had a good share of scrambles on the way up. When we reached we top we not only had an awesome view of the park and Jordan pond we saw the infamous bubble rock. What is really cool about this huge rock is that is sits right on the edge of the mountain. It looks like you can just push the rock off the ledge but it's not that easy. There are actual teams of people that come and try pushing the rock. A cool history fact is that back when the glaciers were around the large rock was placed right on top of the mountain. It is proven that the make up of the rock is completely different then the rock in the mountain.

Just a small portion of what we had to do

The top view over Jordan Pond and Acadia

"Bubble Rock" looks more like a "bubble butt"

It has been a little while since my last post. I have been rather busy with life. The good news is that I have remained active and losing the pounds! I want to first announce that I am officially under 200 pounds!!! I honestly cannot count how many times I have doubted myself on being able to lose the 35 pounds to get where I am right now. I was ready to accept that I was going to be a 200 plus gal, but I had to dig in deep and stick with this. I have been known for starting projects and not finishing them. My fear was that I wasn't going to be able to stick with a strict health regiment and have history repeat itself. But that is not how my story is going to end. My health journey has no end and when I change my thought process to this, it makes it easier to keep going. Every day I am always facing personal challenges. Such as.. Am I doing enough cardio? Am I able to stop snacking after 7pm? When am I going to be able to do this without even thinking?

The past two months have been my greatest with my fitness and health. I completed my second 5k in under 37 minutes which has been my best time so far. The 5k was the Early Rise n' Shine which the fee was covered by my work so my husband and I both signed up. This was his very first 5k which we both finished at the same time. I will have to say that the greatest secret to my success is to have someone to do it along with. We both gained the weight and now we are both losing the weight. It just makes sense right?

Joe and I finishing together

Group photo with the amazing people I work with.

My next major fitness goal will be this weekend where my parents, sister, myself, and Joe will hike the Caps Ridge Trail on Mt Jefferson. This is a 2.5 mile hike one way which sounds easy right? I wish but that would make a terrible fitness goal. Not this 2.5 mile hike is 2,700 ft elevation gain. The summit elevation alone is 5,712 ft. This trail is surprisingly considered the easiest because it only has moderate exposure plus it is the shortest in distance. What it lacks in distance makes up in literal climbing. I recently learned the hiking term "scrambling", which is pretty much a step down from rock climbing. It is a very physically demanding hike and I am super excited and scared. I am excited but really enjoy hiking. I love the amazing view you get at the top and the sense of accomplishment you feel when you reach back to the bottom. I am terrified because 99% of the hike is on a steep incline and a large portion is above the treeline so we will be fully exposed to wind and cold. I am hoping the weather will remain good and have a good view at the top. Considering Mt Jefferson is the third tallest mountain in NH plus being next to Mt Washington, there is a chance of being in the clouds. So let's keep our fingers crossed!!

http://4000footers.com/photo%20%20jefferson.jpg

I have honestly never been so proud of myself and what my body has been able to achieve. With Winter coming, I am afraid the holidays and the lack of being outside will hinder, but I cannot allow me to fall into old habits. Just not an option! Joe and I have been slowly building up a home gym in our basement. So far we have a weight bench that was donated by family friends. We purchased a barbell with weights. We also have yet to set up a weight machine that my grandparents gave us and we need to pick up a Boflex machine another family friend is giving us. So I have a good feeling that we will good plus we still have our gym membership to Planet Fitness. When there is a will there is a way!!

Our bench and barbell

This past respite weekend was a fall back. I sinned bad, well at least it felt that way where I gained one pound. I know it's only one pound but gaining anything at this point is just hard. I also know I need to not be so hard on myself because I am human and I am not build on perfection. It is something I really need to accept. I just feel like if I use that as an "excuse" then it will allow me to fall back even further behind. That was what happened last year when I tried. I know now I am much further on my journey then I was a year ago.


On a lighter note, my husband and I joined our work's weight loss challenge for this month. Everyone pitches in $15 each and who ever loses the greatest percentage of weight wins all of the money. I have never done any sort of weight loss challenge so this is very exciting. I have recently found out online weight loss challenges (such as DietBet) people can pitch in money and win larger amounts of cash for winning. Sometimes it's even if you lose a little. You do need to provide proof of the weight loss like a picture of the scale with a code word like "carrot" to prove authenticity.


I am learning so much about myself every day. I do know ever day I am learning how to love my body instead of being so ashamed of it. I know there is a movement going around to eliminate body shaming. I think that is awesome, but I also know that where I am at right now is not where I want to be. And that is because my body isn't in the greatest shape I know it deserves to be. It's an intense balance. I have been doing more research on the topic of self love. A gentlemen name Ralph Smart has a really neat YouTube Channel called Infinite Waters (Diving Deep). He does a very good job explaining how to practice self love (Provided below). I highly reccomend those who want to delve deeper into themselves and get to learn what they truly need from life and how to achieve it.

So yesterday I participated in my very first 5k which was the Color Run. It was SO much fun! I guess they really know how to live up to their catchphrase "The Happiest 5k On Earth". One of my personal goals was to do my first 5k, and being it being my first I wanted to make it count! I also was super nervous about feeling like I couldn't keep up with the general crowd. When you are just starting with running, you don't want to be setting the bar too high. Running is something that I am really learning how to properly do THIS year. What I mean by properly do, I mean how to run consistently without having to feel like I am going to puke or pass out. The previous months I have been slowly building my endurance by running a mile or two at least once a week (outside) and utilizing my warm ups at the gym by using the treadmill. I am not a fan of the treadmill due to getting bored but it has helped a lot.

Our Before Picture

I did the Color Run this year with my parents and my sister where we entered as a team. Our team name was "Brave Hearts". This was to represent the personal struggles we have endured. We made team shirts which each ribbon was a different to represent our own cause. My mother survived a heart attack last year which is why her ribbon was red. My sister's and dad's was silver to represent my sister's struggle and perseverance with Dyslexia. Mine was blue to represent my husband's battle with Testicular Cancer. I really liked having our own meanings because it gave me an extra sense of motivation.

Starting line

Pre-run selfie

When we arrived to the starting line there was music pumping and the energy was infectious. The weather was cloudy and sprinkled off and on. There was still a very good turn out. When they started the run, they allowed people to run/walk in waves so it would create less chaos. One thing I didn't really like with the run was that it began with a hill. Luckily after that there wasn't too many hills. They had various color stations where they throw color at you as you run. That was a lot of fun. When I finished I was given my color packets and medal. I don't know what my time was because they don't time you but I would have to assume it was 35 minutes. I did have to take a couple walk breaks because of some of the hills. Something I want to work out for the next 5k (which I am signed up for one in September).

Post Run

When you finish you get to do the "after party" which they play music and have color throws. Once again the energy was amazing and I seriously couldn't stop dancing. I haven't had so much fun a long time and I was incredibly proud of myself for doing it. I wasn't perfect and didn't have the best time but I DID IT. I honestly never thought I could ever finish a 5k let alone do one. I can see how it can be addicting because you get a "runner's high" once you are able to get going. Also it can addicting when you want to always strive for improvement.